Labyrinth Ladies

Cj's

2006-01-29T20:11:00.000-05:00

So I'm in this creative writing - poetry/short fiction class... Um, yeah... And I have to (supposed to) write every day for at least a half hour or whatever. Well, CJ's kinda interfered with this, so I decided the bar was worthy enough of a poem. I doubt my professor likes it, I'm not really sure if it qualifies as an objective poem as the assignment asked, but whatever, I'm damn proud of us girls! --Bree

The dollars spent on beer we drank
For fourteen days our mouths we sank
With Sharpie on the basement table
We proved the world the Lab was able!
Look in the bathroom, our marks' there, too,
Consumed in too much Wiedemann brew.
This two week walk a black and a half made
More money was given with cover we paid
From Spencer to Freisen and other fun bands
Cj's is permanently marked on our hands.
Finally the fourteen day was here
Our bodies still drunk off thirteen days beer
With pride and smiles the tshirts we got
Are just a small token of this life we had sought
Cause it meant so much more than our alcoholic lives
It was about a celebration, the stories of us five
Best friends who will soon become sad adults
Looking around cause it's just not our faults
But CJs was there for us, for fourteen days straight
Those days over again, forever we'll wait.

Quack... Quack... Quack!

2005-11-05T14:34:00.001-05:00

This post is devoted entirely to that glorious shot from Mac 'n Joes known as the Demon Duck. If you mix one part Jagermeister, one part Firewater, and one part Goldschlager (just cuz its pretty!) you will know the true greatness that is this esophagus burning, sinus clearing, cinnoman-ey delicious drunken delight-- but make sure you put it in a small kitchen glass. Now how's that for adjectives? Truth be told, I had to ask my friendly bartender what was in the Demon Duck because on the Mac 'n Joes shot menu board, they chose to write ridiculous comments instead of telling you the ingredients. So here, my friends, is a compilation of Demon Duck Descriptions (if you will...) for your reading pleasure. And also a picture of Mitch.

It's like the song that doesn't end... on LSD.
It's like getting an apple pie in the mail.
It's like turning 23... at work.
It's like the kind of movie you don't bother seeing in the theater... you wait for the DVD... and then rent it... by yourself.
It's like two midgets dueling with sledgehammers in four feet of water.
It makes you feel better when you don't get the puppy you always wanted.
It's like when the kitchen makes you drunk.
It's like transcending Time, but not Space.
It's like an orgasm in your mouth... just not your orgasm.

The Best Night of College. EVER.

2005-09-30T17:28:00.000-05:00

Greek Week was a huge success for the Omega gals... after taking 1st in Puddle Pull last Sunday, the day only got sweeter when we placed 3rd in Bandstand (although the general consensus in the Greek Community is that we were ROBBED... because MIAMiTunes is a flippin sweet concept, whoever thought of it. Oh right, that was me. But to be fair, Danielle did all actual work as choreographer.
To celebrate, our good friend Alex invited us all over to the Phi Psi house for a quiet gathering of friends. Sandy, Smees, LC, D and I all piled in the Grocery Getter around 11, and upon arriving realized we were not properly attired AT ALL. The rain was pouring and everyone was sliding down the hill in front of the frat house. Naturally, we could not pass up such an oppurtunity, so Smitty and I booked it back to the Lab to acquire some large men's shorts and grubby t-shirts for the gang. Well, excpet for Danielle. She thought it best to just go for it in her Lucky Jeans, which are now sliced to bits. They are kinda hot, not gonna lie. The party really got started once we were changed. All the Phi Psi's chanted our sorortity letters as we descended the hill, face first. It was AWESOME. We ran back into the house to get some more Natty's and then went out to do it again, but not before taking pictures with CJ and "Sexy Fingers," our bandstand boys.
After mudsliding, a large group of muddy people gathered in the now filthy chapter room to sing drinking songs while certain individuals bonged more burrrs. There was also a great deal of Natty and cheap Champagne sprayed/poured on everyone in the room. I learned the hard way that Natty BURNS when it gets in your eyes--but it was worth it. Hell Ya. So here is our new favorite little diddy: Here's to Brother Renshaw, Brother Renshaw, Brother Renshaw! Here's to Brother Renshaw, who's with us tonight! He's happy, he's jolly! HE's FUCKED UP BY GOLLY! Here's to Brother Renshaw who's with us tonight! Soooooo... DRINK MOTHERFUCKER! DRINK MOTHERFUCKER! DRINK!
Yeah, we sang that song about a million and a half times. And no, it still has not gotten old. Around 1, we skipped our way back up High Street, singing, taking photos, and embarassing Sarah Belew. She was in Starbucks, so we made her come out to take our picture and hear us sing our favorite song. The lesson here folks, is ALWAYS go out when u don't have a huge exam/paper/project due, because you never know what might happen... you could come home covered in mud after having the best night of your life!

"Look what they ganked!"

2005-09-17T11:25:00.000-05:00

After standing in the longest line I've ever seen at Stadium, I thought the night was going to be hell. But then it hit me - "you don't have to wait in line, cut like the rest of the annoying skinny blonde freshman girls that wear too much makeup and talk really loud about whether or not the picture on their fake looks like them." I restrained my urge to punch them in the face and finally met up with Kara, Mitch, and Getz downstairs. (Well, met up with them after meandering for about 5 minutes through the drunken sweaty masses...then I kicked myself in the balls that I don't have b/c why would I look for them anywhere else but in front of the screen of the glory that is Photo Hunt.)

We doubly killed brain cells when we added some buckets of Nati to the mix. Sick. Luckily we ran into Kelsey and excercised our bar-strategery skills so she could helps us finish our never-ending beer tubs.

At 1:15, ON the dot, as Getz had suggested, we left behind our finally-empty beverage containers to head to Mac n Joes. We did find a table in the back which was super, but we had to go through the M&J gauntlet first where I got stepped on and burnt by a cigarette (I gave this guy a look of death until I saw his drunken wheels turning as he decided the best way to make up for it would be to rest the burning cigarette on his forearm. He just smirked as if that was the most brilliant idea he's ever had - probably was - and I just shook my head and walked off).

Mitch began our evening at Mac n Joes with a round of shots. It was bartender's choice I believe and she flipping gave us Red Headed Sluts. Wow, original. Getz decided that that wasn't good enough and we needed to take another shot called the something Duck, Demon Duck maybe? It smelled like fire and screamed "Demon." Not sure about the "duck" part...but we took care of that when we decided we'd precede the shot with a Mighty Ducks style "quack........quack.....quack...quack..quackquack" - you get the picture. I'm pretty sure it consisted of Goldslager and rubbing alcohol. We're killin brain cells, why not kill the lining of our throats while we're at it. But it didnt keep us from belting out a little Tenacious D.

I'm not really sure when we decided it'd be a good time to leave. Probably after creepy guy told me I had the best skin tone he had ever seen (not just my face but "all over").

B&D was our final destination. This was probably the evening's highlight. As Al and I were waiting for our Messy Katie and turkey-and-mayo-on-sesame, I glanced to my left to see Mitch reaching for something on B&D's shelf. Of course, with my history, you have to know I had a part in instigating. I took on the role as the "readyyyy...NOW"er, which happend about 5 times before Mitch was pretty sure all eyes were on bagels and the drunken customers. The next time I looked up, what was on the shelf before...wasn't. Luckily lots of people like to eat bagels at 2:45am on a Friday night, so the place was pretty packed. We held it low and stuck close together as we pushed our way out the door. It was a miracle that the boy screaming "Woahhhh, looked what they ganked!" didn't ruin our fun - loser, trying to get us caught. The funNEST part was watching Mitch walk down High Street with a massive B&D-gank. You're probably wondering what exactly is sitting in my fridge right now, well check it out [insert picture]. A huge flippin jar of banana peppers. Now, no worries, this will be getting returned; I decided that getting $5 for finishing 128 FL OZ of "hot pepper rings" in a month is not worth it.

Homecoming Weekend... a drunken haze.

2005-09-16T12:59:00.000-05:00

Love and Honor to MIAMI, Forever and a Day!

Last Saturday (9/10/05) was Homecoming here at Miami University. None of us actually made it to the game, but we did celebrate in honor of our dear Miami Rrrrrrrredhawks by hitting the bars from 2pm to... um, lateish. At 2, we decided to go visit our president Kelly, who works as a hot bartender at BrickStreet/SkyBox. Chris, Danielle's alumni BF tagged along with us the whole day, because he is so funny and cute and nice! And we like him a whole lot! In the picture he doesn't look very happy, but that was just a joke. He was making a funny face, I swear. While we were there, we ran into some fabulous Omega Alumnae (Jillian, Andrea, Fischer, KC, Mack, etc.) and that was really great. Our second stop was The Loving Cup (an Omega house) but when we got there, we discovered there was A.) no Kiley, B.) no sophomores and C.) no beer. So we decided to walk on up to Skipper's, but on the way we made a pit stop at a random house to talk to some New Trier Trevians, Beer Monster (and Little Katie), Brad Haddy, and Anthony. I also chugged a beer, with some help. Right, so on to Skipps... we decided it would be best to refuel a bit buy eating delicious and greasy food like waffle fries with cheese, mozzerella sticks, nachos, bud light, double rum and cokes, and so forth. Sitting out in the sun on Skipper's front deck is a great way to spend an afternoon, just chatting and people watching. It is the best seat on all of High Street to see everyone walk by. God, I love this town. I don't really know how long we sat there, but the important thing is we kept drinking until Top Deck opened at 5. Megan B.'s bro works there as a bartender, so he made us some delicious mixed beverages, including one of his own invention called 'The Force.' I think it consisted of coke, Natty, vodka, um... Razmatazz? I don't know, but it was mighty tastey. You can see its lovely color in the picture to the left, where LC is drinking it from a plastic shot glass. Classy. After going home to clean up, several of us went to B-Dubs to meet up with Mincks and Flan and to eat some wing(ies) and to drink some more beer. Oh, also to watch the OSU v. Texas game. The out- of- stater's decided it would be best to root for UT because we really don't like OSU. We probably said "Hook 'em Horns!" about 700 times to compensate for the crazy Buckeye fever going on in the bar. You can see a demonstration of this on the right. Around 11, everyone from Labyrinth and Party of Five (aka POF) met up at Balcony for The Rumrunners gig. I wouldn't say we are exactly groupies as much as we are "with the band." LC knows Kev and John G. from HS, and therefore we know them personally. As evicence, I include a photo of the absolute hottness that is lead singer, John Gennett. The man has the most amazing voice... we like to rock out to his renditions of "Free Fallin'" and "The Pianoman" on every occasion we can. Oh, and did I mention he is hot? Maybe I am the only one who thinks so, but i think most ladies on this campus could back me up on that. Basically, homecoming was a fabulous day of drinking and debauchery (well...maybe not so much of that...), which may only be rivaled by Green Beer Day 2006. We shall have to wait and see what fun lies ahead for the rest of Senior year!

The Sexy Picture!

2005-09-16T12:55:00.000-05:00

I love this pic... it is from Labor Day Eve, and I think it makes us look like...um... HOT. Oh, and Merfa is in it. She doesn't live here, but that is A-Ok.

Sandy-Loo Sobermeister

2005-09-16T01:43:00.000-05:00

Right now I am sitting in room 5 (the only sober one, for a change) with Zac Tempel, LC, Schphincter and Sandeez... and Sandra Michelle is uber plastered. Here are some gems from...oh, about the last half hour:

"Oh Emmm GEEEEEE!"
"Your so hot Zac! (pounds on bathroom door) I wanna fuckin' DO YOU! (more pounding) Zac's gonna be a DOCTOR. D-R period space space! Your gonna make six figures! In 8 years when Zac is a doctor I am gonna fucking DO HIM! (pound, pound, pound) Zac, are you going to medical school?? Are you going to IUPUI?! OH EM GEEEE!"
"Wait! There's tampons right here!" (which Z. threw out of the bathroom...10 minutes prior...)
(Zac hucks a can of pineapple juice at Sandy's head...it makes a direct hit to her forehead.) "My forehead fucking hurts, Zac!! A can of pineapple juice?! And that was fucking YOUR DIRECT FAULT! OWWWWW!"
"There are more important issues! Like, my back of my head is bleeding! And there are Tampons and PADS on the floor! THOSE WERE NOT HERE BEFORE!"
Zac, don't tell anyone that Omega's have tampons on their floors! I am SO embarressed!"
Zac: "Hey Sandy, you want some pineapple juice?" Sandy: "I KNOOOW what happens to pineapple juice!"
"This orange cup, bitch! I am gonna Re-hy-drate!"
"He just insulted my bear, hardcore! SCHNOOKUMS! His name is SCHNOOKUMS!"
"My name is Temmmm-pelllll... I live in the baaaase-ment of the Sigma Phi Epsilon Houuuuuuse! So I'm gonna go buy some pineapple JUUUUUICE!"
(Sandy puts the nasty-ass UDF burrito on Zac's delicate parts like a warm compress): HOLY BALLS! It's SOOO WARM! Schpatz! I know you like WARM ballllls!" (she then pats the warm burrito compress, for emphasis.)
"What the fuck happened tonight guys?"-Sandra, oh, I adore you!

So a lot of shit went down tonight... Sig Ep was banned from ever making out with any Omega's EVER... Sandy sucker-punched Zac right in the gonads...Zac retaliated with a slap so fierce, it left a vibrant red handprint on Sandy's ass cheek.

Zac has ceased to stop talking about how much his balls hurt for the past 20 minutes. I heard him say he was gonna go pee blood, and that the only way a woman can understand the feeling of being jacked in the jewels is if Zac were to "take your tits and twist them really hard for a while and then punch them in their fucking face." Ok.. its 3am. Photos to come. Seacrest Out!

Don't read unless ur rill bored.

2005-09-16T00:59:00.000-05:00

I have neglected to post due to my crazy busy schedule full of Omega and capstone things. The fact that I was home about 2 hours total this week is rill cool, but who's counting?

Senior year is a bit less crazy than I had expected; crazy in the sense of going out and having good times. This was a disappointment. Last night I got about 3 hours of sleep total. But, due to my neglegence, thought that I better go out tonight. This was the case. To a frat house Sandy, Mincks, and I went...wow I suddenly feel as if I'm freshman.

Oh, Greek Week is this week - go Omegas! I always say "I think we're gonna win" just because it makes sense to have a positive attitude like that. But, oh, I'm really feelin it this year. We'll keep our readers updated. No worries. Ok, I'm bored, and this blog is boring. I'll post tomorrow when I'm coherent and feeling witty.

Peace.

Things I've learned from country night...

2005-09-14T20:25:00.000-05:00

AKA Our adventures with Townies
1. When Glenda sits next to you at the bar and you receive a free shot from "the guy in the grey shirt at the end of the bar" (aka scary townie) all within the first 10 minutes of your arrival, it's a bad omen

2. When, after consuming said shot and a 40, you run into scary townie and his friend in the dayglow shirt upstairs, it's a bad idea to allow or encourage them to continue buying you drinks, even if it does mean free alcohol.

3. When you try to escape from dancing with said townies, using the excuse of going to get a drink only works if you have enough cash to actually purchase something.

4. In a bar that small, scary and dayglow will find you again. When multiple trips to the bathroom and bar don't work, you better hope you have good friends (some of whom must be males - sorry kara, they didn't seem to take you seriously) to dance with instead.
-ps. john, greg and friend whose name i've forgotten, we heart you tons

5. Carrying each other home on a Tuesday seems to be a bit of a novel sight...we got some looks...

(mostly) good times last night!

Lottie Moon's Wednesday (a work in progress)

2005-09-12T16:45:00.000-05:00

Here are few photos from last Wednesday night's festivities at Lottie Moon's, that super bar that is 1) right across the street from our pad; and 2) has $1 dollar 24oz drafts of Natty on Wednesdays. SUPER!Some humorous quotes from the evening of beer and 'intellectual' discussions for y'all:

"The first time I ever smoked a cigarette I was watching Full House and my mom caught me!"--Rach
"SING THE SIGMA SONG! NO! That's NOT IT!"--Chrissy
"I feel...that the gap...has been bridged"--Megan J, reflecting on Getz and B. Diddy's new understanding/appreciation of each other's different brands of feminism. Trust me folks, there was some deep seeded resentment involved.
A Conversation: AG--"Hey, different strokes for different folks..." RO--"Ha Ha! Pun Intended!"
"We are going to make out... with our brains."-Getz, followed by the pressing together of foreheads with Jake (representing a mental exchange of love and respect)
A 'smart' quote from Jake: "A good writer can take the subconscious processes that go on, and identify them." I know...deep, right?

Be on the look out for an account of last weekend's Homecoming festivities!

Mac n Joe's--Labor Day Eve

2005-09-05T17:00:00.001-05:00

Toasting our "Sex with an Alligator" shots!

Take it like a big girl!

Merfa and J-Tine engaged in a highly intellectual discussion.

Chrissy... after a few shots.

Shots, Round 2.

and...The Wreckage!

LC can tie a knot in a cherry stem with her tounge... that is sooo flippin' sexy!

Oh, these girls are so freaking cute!

These girls are also pretty damn hott.

The Infamous Quote Book

2005-09-05T15:05:00.000-05:00

Sorry, I know. It's been a while since anyone has written anything on here, but to be quite honest, we have all been a little preoccupied with celebrating the first few weeks of senior year by drinking ourselves into oblivion. To usher back the blog, here is a collection of quotes from last year as written in our book of notecards:

"I have scabies!" -Bree (yes, there was a brief outbreak of leg scabies last August)
"Frank the Tank was here?"-Random Party goer looking at the Will Ferrell pic on the wall of shame.
"K, Bye!"-anyone, anytime.
"Hey Al, do you remember that guy we shaved?"-Getz (about a friend from high school that we... um... shaved. His face, you sickos)
"I've had way more sex than all of you combined!"-Rach
"Wait... you slept with him too?"-two housemates, who shall remain nameless, discovered to their great suprise that they slept with the same random guy within a week of each other. That, my friends, is Lab Love.
"Make good choices!"-Chrissy, in all of her infinite wisdom
"Step, Bom! Step, Bom-Bom!"-Meg, reinacting the DUI thing on the 'net
"Meg made me do my own makeup!"-Sandy, complaining.
"Don't Stop, Nigger hit it!"-Megan Jeane on GBD... she is so white it is not even funny
"Peach is a BITCH!"-Bree, who gets a little too into MarioKart
"This is our first party EVER!!"-some freshman honors kids. God Bless you, Tappan Hall.
"Pieces, Pieces, Pieces of me..."-Sandra is actually better at being Ashlee Simpson than Ashlee Simpson herself.
"Llama Llama Cheesecake Llama, Llama Llama Duck."-the internet. It's funny, ok?
"My boyfriend calls me Baby Hippo."-Getz
"Hey! Do you guys want to go watch the funny porn?"-Chrissy, in regards to the clip Justine has on her computer.
"Hold on, I have to go check out my tits!"-Getz, trying on Tiffo's falsies.
"Do Y'all have some low-shun or some cocoa buttah? Mah elbows is ashy!"-Smis, commenting on her HS friends from A-K-Rowdy.
"So, for the first time, we kicked someone out of our party last night. That's what you get when a guy you're with knocks over our stereo shelf w/ 50 billion wine glasses and breaks all but 2 of them. Well, we're not 100% sure it was her or the guy she was with...but...regardless, thats also what you get when you just look suspicious."-LC's commentary on "the party with the condoms."

More to come Ladies and Gents, stay tuned!

Hey Check It!

2005-08-10T15:11:00.000-05:00

Here at "the website" we love getting suggestions from our (very small number of) readers. Thanks to a loyal Lab Groupie (Mr. J. Barnes, we LOVE you!), we now have a guestbook. Look over there... to the right... underneath all the "past entries." Send us some love. You can leave us comments on our posts, too.

I'm anticipating...

2005-08-05T15:23:00.000-05:00

...how funny it is going to be when people start "drunk blogging."

Starting to get nostalgic already...

2005-08-05T13:48:00.000-05:00

I know that I am not supposed to start getting all mushy about the last days of college and all that until they actually arrive, and I know how much it bothers some people to talk about certain things/events being the "last" we will experience in our college lives, but let me just wax poetic for a minute because I genuinely had a "moment" today when I realized how fast my time at Miami has gone by, and how much I love my time at this school in spite of some of the hard stuff I have gone through/dealt with during the past two years.

So I'm spending another long day at the office (one week left!) staring at the computer and cruising my extremely limited internet access--it really discriminates in ways I can't figure out. As I have spent most of my time here at the firm for the past few slow weeks, I have been cruising different blog sites for people that go to Miami University, because obviously, I can relate to that. Also, I think it would be funny to come across someone I know revealing all their deep dark secrets to the internet. But so far most of these kids are (a) have an extremely shitty grasp on the English language; (b) incoming freshman--boooo!; (c) people who like to write about every minute detail of their lives, such as what they ate for lunch; or (d) using their blog to talk about their relationship with Jesus Christ, their "one true love" and "personal" Lord and Savior. Ughhh.

However, today I came across a blog called Avenda written by a rising sophomore at good ole MU, who is actually quite a good writer. I scrolled back to the entry regarding her first day at Miami, and then spent a good half hour reading all about her freshman year...and I have to say, I kind of felt like crying. Obviously, I didn't, because this is a law firm, and specifically one where the 30-year-old male attorneys act like they are 15 and will make fun of you. Well now I'm just being tangential...back on track.

Right, so I was just thinking about how much I have changed as a person since freshman year, and about all the cool people I've met here that have helped and allowed me do so. As a freshman, I was completley bright-eyed because everything was still new and exciting... I still contend that freshman year has been my favorite of college. Only during my first year did I compare "random make-out tallies" with my girls in the dining hall (although I was sadly able to count mine on one hand), have everyone on my floor take care of me when I was passing out with my head in the toilet, and go out in groups of 30--which was socially acceptable then, but hysterical/pathetic now. Avenda's blog let me live all of that over again, and I kind of wish I had the foresight to write down my college experience.

But I guess that is the purpose of the Lab blog, to be able to have a record of all the fun and crazy things we do as seniors, a year which has the possibility to be my/our best. I'm not going to cry yet, I promise, but do know that it is going to be really tough to leave this place in May.

Countdown...21!

2005-08-04T10:56:00.000-05:00

The time is nigh when all but a few late bloomers have turned the magical age of 21. The 21st birthday is a momentous occasion in which the only proper way to celebrate is by drinking ridiculous shots purchased for you by friends and/or strangers, and ending the night by passing out in sweet booze-induced slumber followed by a wicked hangover, or by praying to the porcelain gods (unless you are Bree, in which case this is a regular occurance and so we are a little scared of what might happen when she is actually legal. Hopefully she won't lock herself in her own bathroom again, that was a tricky situation). This post is in honor of housemates who still have to get someone older to buy them Natty:

Sandra Michelle: August 15
Breanna: August 24
Tiffany: September 19
Justine Kelly: November 15 (our baby! we are gonna get this girl SCHWAAASTED!)

For now, please enjoy some photos of other Lab Ladies first legal nights of deabauchery!

Danielle was 21 a long time ago, so here she is doing her killer dinosaur impression.

Chrissy double fisting like a 21-year old should.

Bryn's first bracelet!!

Al P. swears she is "not drunk."

Mitch was born to party!

Rach, our birthday princess!

Al G. enjoying a LEGAL adult bev.

Lab Love from B.

2005-08-01T16:23:00.000-05:00

***disclaimer: this post was written by foreverlabgirl, but she has not yet been added to our list of contributors. we must give credit where credit is due***

Where to start. I miss you all SO much. I stopped by the house the other day and made me so sad. Again remind me why I gave up such an amazing lease with the most amazing girls?! I hope you know I may stalk you all and try to spend as much time as possible there.

This past semester was amazing in D.C. It was something that came up last minute and I had to jump. I am so glad I did. It was hard working 17 hours a day. It sucked I couldn't talk to you guys ever. Being in D.C. was also great because I did fall in love with Brian. It was kinda crazy. It just sort of happened. He has been out here this summer and I am headed to Boston soon. Hopefully he can meet you all again this semester. He has had to listen to TONS of stories and look through pictures. But you REALLY made my 21st birthday. Coming back to a party at the lab will always be the best birthday. I miss being apart of the Lab. I hope I can still be sorta apart of it. I will visit and def. pay for beer ;)

Miss you guys and loving you all. Can't wait for senior year and time together.

Good Memories

2005-07-30T12:26:00.000-05:00

Hey all...I think you can all guess who this is by my name. I just wanted to thank all of my wonderful housemates for being with me when I first fell in love with Gilmore Girls. If it weren't for you all and your willingness to compromise with the remote, I might not feel quite as close to Lorelai and Rory (and Dean and Jess, hell yes) as I do!

And now for some of my favorite memories...

That night a bunch of us were hanging out and there were random guys in our house, and finally 2 hours later we asked them who they were. They said they're "Greg's friends." Still not positive who Greg is.
When Andy got in the Police Beat for stopping a bad kid from doing bad things after one of our parties. Green Beer Day, when Megan of Liberty Center, OH finished the verse, "don't stop, get it get it..."
Mattress-sliding down the front staircase.

Salsa con queso. There seems to be a jar of it somewhere in every good memory I have. I know there are tons more but I don't want to fatigue this...yay Lab!

So Close... (an update from Breeasia)

2005-07-30T00:00:00.000-05:00

Well my ladies, I can't believe that summer is over. While it will be sad to have just one more year left in the fabulous Oxford Ohio, I am soooo ready for it to begin. August is filled with so many fun events!!! Listed (in chronological order - order of importance is irrelevant since they are all so freakin incredible)
August 4 - My last day in the office of Enterprise Rent-A-Car on Morse Road (aka I hope I don't get shot on a pick up)
August 11 - Intern Marketing Competition (hopefully I will win $500 to put on the maxed out credit card).
August 14 - Rascal Flatts with Kara!!!
August 17 - Move into the Labyrinth!!!
August 24 (the best one ever): My birthday!

Yes I warn you that when the house alcoholic turns 21 the world just may be over. I apologize in advance for the insane amount of puking I will probably do and for the obnoxious things I will probably say.

That's all for now, I have to be up in 6 1/2 hours for my LAST Saturday of work!! Love and miss you all :-)

Meet the Labyrinth

2005-07-29T12:29:00.000-05:00

Let's see... we've got two firefighters, an "angel princess," Napoleon Dynamite, a banana, some form of satan's spawn, Ben Roethlisburger, a ferocious dinosaur in purple sparkly pants, a naughty nurse, a piece o' pizza and an angel in a toga, some OJ, purple stuff... SUNNY D! Thanks Mom! Wait...no, it could only be Halloween at Labyrinth 2004. We actually prefer hard liquor to Sunny D, anyhow. Unless the 'D is spiked. Unfortunately, if you didn't have the pleasure of attending our pre- party festivities the Thursday before Halloween, you might not have heard some of the following things:

"What is this supposed to be, a witches bwew or something?" ( a homestar phrase, used in reference to the large cauldron of highly potent witches brew on our kitchen table)
"Last year Japanese scientists explaced...placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness in an attempt to blow Nessie out of the water..."--Napoleon
At KA social: To a boy wearing two popped collar polos, in 'delicate shades' of blue and pink--Napoleon: "Dude, what are you supposed to be?" Boy points to name tag on his chest. "Ohhhh, now I get it, you're a Beta... that's pretty scary."
"You're Napoleon Dynamite? I fucking love that movie!"--hottie Pita Pit boy, followed by an thoroughly impressive exchange of quotes from the movie between HPPB and Napoleon, while Meg stands nearby, cracking up at this newly formed friendship.

We love our pet.

Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce you all to our house pet, Alcatraz, but more commonly referred to as "Alkie" or "Traz." Alkie lives in our small common room in a pretty tricked out cage made of purple, yellow and green plastic. He enjoys eating seeds and sleeping in his hamster wheel. His favorite activity is running around our living room in his yellow hamster ball, which is lots of fun but sometimes hazardous as most people don't look at their feet and he ends up getting kicked across the room in his ball. Alkie is well loved at the Lab and will surely be the topic of many future posts because he is just so dang frickin cute.

Partying Oh So Hearty...

At Miami, many houses are known as "passdowns," meaning that the tenants are often members of a certain Greek organizations for years at a time. Labyrinth has been passed down by Omegas for a loooong time, and right now ten of the Lab Ladies belong to this fantastic sorority. One of the sorority's tradition is an annual Pirate party held on a riverboat in Cincinnati. Not gonna lie, but getting asked to Pirate is kind of a big deal. This year before we boarded the buses, many of the women and their dates came to our place to socialize--this photo is of all the Lab Omegas (minus Sandeezy and the resident boozehound who was most likely...drinking) decked out like Captain Jack Sparrow. K got in there somehow, too.

Another long-standing Labyrinth tradition (besides drinking heavily) is a little get-together known as Get Lei'd at Labyrinth. For this year's Hawaiian-themed party, we purchased roughly 200 plastic leis, 3 kegs and even got t-shirts made. This year's slogan was "A night you won't remember, a LEI you'll never forget." Yeah, its a play on words. We think its fairly suggestive/lewd, and therefore humorous. Here is a gathering of the Lab gals mugging for the camera with their frosty mugs full of delicious house beer.

More Than a House...

Though being a Labyrinth Lady is primarily a social/ living arrangement, we like to give back to the community as well. To us, life at the Lab means more than having enormous street cred, prime real estate, or the opportunity to live with some of the most intelligent, witty and fashionable women on campus. No, we are much more than that, despite the fact that we have the reputation of being incredible women who have the ability to attract sexy men with our sparkling personalities (and our great looking boobs). For example, we are staunch advocates for the environment who take the eradication of pollution very seriously. Perhaps the best way we can express ourselves is through song. Eh hemmmm:

"Earth! Fire! Wiiiiiind! Water! Heart! GOOOOOO PLANET! By your powers combined, I am Captain Planet! Captain Planet, he's our hero-- he's gonna take pollution down to zero! We're gonna help him put asunder bad guys who like to... loot and plunder! You'll pay for this, Captain Planet!" (begin rap sequence') We're the Planeteers! You can be one too! Cuz saving our planet is the thing to do! Looting and polluting is not the way, hear what Captain Planet has to say!"

***apologies to Cpt. Planet for the slightly embarrassing, yet hilarious photo!***OK, so maybe we are joking about that whole environmentalism thing. Honestly, we don't even recycle our beer cans. I don't know how we could even find the time to fight looters and polluters with all the studying and socializing we do here at MU. And maybe that was a bad attempt at humor that you might not understand if you didn't grow up in the early nineties. But readers, we will leave you with a few words of wisdom to mull over, that have essentially become our mantra...

The POWER is YOURS!!

House Procrastinator Here

2005-07-28T20:59:00.000-05:00

This is Lindsay ps.

I'm nervous. I'm nervous because I am going to be spending way too much flippin time on this thing. Though, good call Al Pal - this will be thoroughly enjoyed by all.

I would like to hit on one Junior-year memory (so we can get them all out of the way before we must begin blogging about our final year at MU). Since you were on the subject of parties, I shall continue... (and I'm going to apologize for not reminscing in chronological order)

I recall one party, Spring semester. Let's call it...Odd Party (so said the Lab chalkboard). The following is the top 10 list some of the housemates created the morning after:

The Top 10 Reasons Last Night's Party Was Odd:
10. Not only was POF not late, they didn't show.
9. This morn' we found a purse

...and the only things in it - 1 pink & 1 purple condom. Classy.

8. The mail devil came and spewed Christian Science Monitors all over our entryway.
7. People were WAY too into beer pong (there's a fine line btwn fun and freezing your balls off).
6. Somebody thought the carpet was hungry and fed it a cupcake.
5. There were lots of random guests...who we didn't know, but they called us by name.
4. Strongbow. Enough said.
3. Our entire stairwell and entryway wreaks of alcohol. Oh wait.
2. We had to do our first kick-out - frosh honors kids.
1. Mystery guy thought it was cool to knock over our shelf and break all of the wine glasses...then watched us clean it up while acquiring glass injuries.
Later added: (#11 It was the smallest party, but the biggest mess).

And here are some random quotes for good measure:

Me (getting a lil' loopy): "I think someone spiked my cheese..."
Justine: "...Like vodka cheese!"
...leading to a tangent on how we should start a restaurant called Wasted Meals making dishes with lots of alcohol.

Rach & I raid the kitchen after a few, episode 1
L: Ooo, someone's pizza!
(Rach and I eat some)
R: I hope it's community!
L: Welp, they didn't have their initials on it!
L: Mmm, Digiorno! Umm, but I think somebody took off all the cheese...(turn on lights)...yep, ew! Oh well! This needs some sauce. (I grab a container from the fridge)
R: Mmm is that marinara, can I have some?
(I take a huge scoop)
L: EW...(I swallow)...definitely cocktail sauce!
R: Can you sliver off a piece of that cake so no one notices? ...I think I want the rest.
L: Do iiiit!
R: No. Well...mmm...I'm gonna take the rest of that. Let's go! Abort! Abort!

our first family photo

2005-07-28T19:01:00.000-05:00

The Lab Ladies... when we finally got our shit together to take a house photo with EVERYONE in it! This was at our second party, which took place on November 20, 2004 and will go down in history for being the party with the "beer-a-mid" (more on that later!). Have you ever seen fourteen sexier chicks?? Right, I didn't think so.

junior year in brief (aka post numero uno)

2005-07-28T15:43:00.000-05:00

The 2004-2005 school year has come and gone, and somehow the 14 of us managed to live in relative peace in our maze of a "flat" on the west side of O-town. There were many Negative Nellies who thought the idea of 14 girls living in one place was merely a recipe for disaster, but I think we can be so bold as to say that we proved "them" wrong. In spite of the early fall civil war between the analretentiveneatfreaks and the frat-life-or-die gals over the amount of dishes accumulating in the kitchen sink, a peace agreement was reached and finally the Labbies could live in relative harmony once again. Several HIGHLY successful parties were thrown over the course of the school year which have substantially increased not only our alcohol tolerances (with the exception of J, our "dry" housie), but also our street cred. Most of the time we had no idea who any of the zillions of people were who mingled in our narrow hallways, and if one did not have the great privilege, no, the pleasure of calling "House Beer" (or "House Weed" should the need arise) one might never be able to reach a point of intoxication. Friends, that is the sign of a good shindig. But now--before the next Natty Light is cracked open, before those shiny new over-21 ID's can be put to good use, before SENIOR YEAR can officially begin-- the memories of the past must be archived. Stay tuned to learn of all the wacky antics that went on inside our humble college abode last year! Get Excited...